My husband and I popped out for a quick date the other night. Nothing fancy, just a run to the hardware store and a quick margarita on the way home. These days, with two kids old enough to baby sit, a run-to-the-store date is nothing out of the ordinary.
This certainly wasn’t always the case. We had nary a date for many long years when all our kids were littles. At that time, I was reading tons of mommy blogs, searching for answers on my quest for sanity. Everywhere I clicked, I read the same advice “weekly date nights!” “the answer to a happy marriage is weekly time away, with your spouse!” To a young couple, tending a house full of kids and flying on a single income, this advice was disheartening, at best. Who could get away once a week? Who could afford a sitter once a month, let alone once a week! It seemed crazy. And out of reach. My marriage must have been doomed.
Looking back, advice like this rials me more now than it did then! Your time with only littles is relatively brief. Take that time to laugh together over baby giggle or steal a kiss over the head of a feverish toddler. If you step back and enjoy this brief season, instead of pining for the elusive weekly date night, you marriage will be fine. More than fine! It will thrive! God made you and your spouse to be here, now, surrounded by these sweet babies.
Soon enough, you’ll look around and realize you have raised yourself a homegrown babysitter! Oh happy day! Hello, weekly date night! Or, maybe, you’ll just let that babysitter stay up late so you can all watch Leverage together as big people. Because, really, home with these guys is the best place to be. You didn’t just raise up a fleet of babysitters, but whole host of really fantastic friends.
Amen. We discovered that sharing a glass (or 2) of wine in our room after the kids went to bed is the best date during the parenting season of littles. We had the chance to sit and talk to each other, the kids didn’t interrupt, and we saved on babysitting cash. Right now we’re guaranteed one sure date night on or around our anniversary (falls near Memorial Day; the college aged aunts are home to watch the kiddos), and we take others if the chance occurs, but our wine time in the evenings has really helped stave the date night envy. Plus, I’ve learned to like dry wine, something my husband has been hoping for a good decade or so. š win-win!
It’s important to enjoy our time with and without the kids and be able to adjust. The other day, Avila (7) asked for a kids day with daddy – no mama allowed š I guess mama will be getting a nice break soon…
Seldom have we paid someone to watch our kids, and usually if we do, it’s because we needed to be somewhere and didn’t have someone to watch the kids for free. We’ve also traded babysitting services with friends as well.
To make up for the (not) oh so important date night, we’ve taken to picking up sushi or take out and putting the kids to bed, then eating dinner without having to cut someone’s food or clean up a milk spill. Before Peter was born, that was usually on Friday nights (now with Peter, it feels like every night is “feed the kids and get them to bed and I’ll sit down on the couch and eat later.)